Role Playing: You be the teacher and I’ll be the student
If you’re kinky and love movies, you’ve likely seen the movie Secretary (2002) with Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader. (Aren’t you glad I didn’t say Fifty Shades of Gray? Blah.) The premise of the movie Secretary is that Gyllenhaal lands a job as a secretary for a successful and rather stern business man played by Spader. During the movie, he eventually reveals his more sexually sadistic side that sends Gyllenhaal spiraling into the beautiful world of BDSM. It’s a cliché role playing scene, yet it seems to entice both vanilla and kinky audiences alike.
At some point, you’ve likely encountered a fetish partner who had a thing for role playing. Perhaps they decided to pull on a plaid skirt with a tie and told you to be the teacher, or maybe you decided you were the authoritative police officer taking advantage of a lonely, partially nude prisoner. It’s exceptionally exciting to pull on a costume and submerse yourself into a different mindset. And it can be quite healthy, too.
Why do we role play? This is more of a personal than a cultural question, but I think many of us role play for a variety of reasons. Though our culture celebrates individuality, we can occasionally face heat for being too individual. Many kinksters can attest to having faced discrimination at some point for having kinks and fetishes, many of which are rather innocent in the context of two (or more) consenting adults. From a vanilla perspective, it can seem dangerous and threatening—and I can understand that to an extend. Our bruises, scars, and welts can be intimidating to vanilla folks, so sometimes we hide them. But when we role play? We don’t have to hide anything. We can just embody the role we want to embody without fear.
Experiencing a different mindset. Another reason can be to experience a different time period. For those who are enamored with the dark ages, they might don a 15th century gown and crown. Perhaps they want to experience a role where they are royalty and the people they rule have decided to usurp the queen. This can be an exciting role playing scene. My own experience in this field has revealed a bit of a fetish for satin cloth. It can also provide an exhilarating power struggle between the queen and her underlings.
Becoming inanimate. Some role play scenes involve the bottom becoming furniture for the Top. As part of their service, bottoms might embody a chair, coffee table, or any other various inanimate objects that can be sexual and non-sexual. The pleasure derived here is from being used. Bottoms who enjoy this mindset are happy to be of service and will do just about anything to please their Tops.
Woof! Other variations of role play can include becoming animals, also called Pet Play. The bottom becomes whatever animal they prefer (most often, a dog or cat) and they happily prance about on a leash, eat from their bowls, and use the bathroom on command. Good pets are rewarded with treats and sexual favors, encouraging them to constantly perform well each time.
Where’s my binky? One of the dearest role plays to me is the Ddlg—Daddy Dom/little girl—role play. Age play can serve a variety of functions to a healthy fetish partnership, including stress relief and impact play. The age of the little can vary from infant to teenager, and typically involves a great deal of pampering. Tops in the parental position enjoy feeding, changing, or spoiling their littles as well as rewarding them with sexual favors and the occasional spanking. This is more of a general explanation of age play as many Tops and bottoms have their own preferences here such as whether they color, suck a binky, have a bottle, wear diapers, etc.
I love a woman in uniform. The most common role play in kinky and non-kinky groups alike tends to be the uniformed partner. This can be in the form of authority figures, teachers, cops, school outfits, security outfits, or even army uniforms. Typically, the Top is the authoritative figure while the bottom is placed in a vulnerable position—they might be a student in detention where they must perform sexual acts on their teacher to get out early or they might be a bratty prisoner whose been causing a racket in jail. The role develops from the perception of the uniform and unfolds from there. It gives you a different experience of the power play dynamic and can also increase your arousal.
Ultimately, the goal of role playing is generally the same each time: power exchange. The Top takes the power from the bottom and uses it to their own benefit. I love a sub who willingly gives over their power, but I also enjoy the challenge of having to take it. Being in such a position can be incredibly satisfying, especially when I succeed. After I take the power, my climax seems to triple in strength and I feel like I’ve relieved a great deal of tension. Role Playing is a fantastic addition to scenes and can benefit both Tops and bottoms in many ways. How do you benefit from role playing?
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